Monday, July 30, 2012

We Need to Listen to Kevin


It's a terribly disturbing story, We Need to Talk About Kevin, and the film gives no moment of relief. A ghastly nightmare, but the dream is incomplete. It fosters the myth of the innocent parent. That's not believable even in fiction.


The essay has been moved to my personal website:

We Need to Listen to Kevin


kl. 10:52 PM
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4 comments:

  1. JennieAugust 5, 2012 at 8:04 PM

    ev'ning Stefan,

    I'm not familiar with either the text or the movie of this tale. I do recall studying in the library @ Unisa where I came across a text that referred to the role that mothers have in their children's lives. Than most foundational experiences in a child's life relate directly back to 'mother'. Sometimes she is an unwitting (naive) player but as mother's our mis-takes are more often than not made with our firstborn & often most disturbingly if the child is male.

    It is true that how a mother weans her children - & not just in a nutritional modality - is crucial for both mother & child.

    Might help if we knew more about Lao Tzu's version of "kindness" b4 we begin ...

    J

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    Replies
    1. Stefan StenuddAugust 14, 2012 at 10:14 PM

      Lao Tzu praised the mother. That's even what he liked to call Tao. He was much less impressed by kings, warriors and the like. And indeed, mothers usually do a much better job with children than fathers do. To begin with, they actually do the job...

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    2. JennieAugust 17, 2012 at 12:46 PM

      Yin certainly seems more apt with regards to children than yang but one must remember that as two parts in dynamic balance they both have important contributions to make.

      I assume here that mothers & fathers with the practical reality of raising children have awareness of these roles... When we behave selfishly, whether father or mother, then the male or female contribution is sabotaged.

      If however by thoughtful consideration we rise above our personal instincts & embrace the dynamic balance of yin/yang we might have more of the qualities Lao Tzu praised such as compassion, frugality & modesty without which we cannot be sincerely brave, generous or show leadership. (Just imagine for example 'a mother' who has no compassion, cannot manage the family's supplies or always brags about herself ... )

      J

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    3. Stefan StenuddAugust 21, 2012 at 2:32 PM

      Sadly, there are such mothers.

      I'm not sure that mothers and fathers necessarily have different roles. It would suffice if they just took the job seriously - and with humility.

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